Learning the Lesson of Believing in Me
Updated: Mar 27, 2021
One day, this world will know peace.
One day, this world will BE LOVE.
Two beliefs I once held so strongly from an age so young I know not exactly how old I was when I first FELT them.
I only know I always have held this vision from deep within my heart and soul. It has been the very reason I incarnated on this earth….to CREATE and BE LOVE.
And then the “real” world came crashing down upon me.
I have learned so many things in my 40 years – WOW, I see that and am like, WHAT!?!? 40!?!? I’m so very grateful that time is only a limitation in THIS realm and that we are, in truth, infinite soul beings having a human experience journey.
I have learned SO MANY things in my 40 years.
I have experienced some horrific things and some absolutely AMAZING things. The entire spectrum of dark and light, though I admit, more of it seems to have been darkness simply because of that which I have held within myself.
As with so many of us in this seemingly cruel and unforgiving world, I was caught up in the perpetuation of such negative beliefs as not being good enough and downright UNWORTHY of even being in existence. Even to the degree of multiple planned suicide attempts….far too often falling into the trap of believing that the world would be so much better off without me in it.
As a result, I created for myself a life of circumstances and relationships that continued to affirm this unworthiness.
However, whereas it seems one should then LOATHE their life even more, I am so grateful to have shifted through that and into a space of TRUTH wherein I know that I AM THE ONE RESPONSIBLE for creating my life.
Which means… that although I cannot change what has happened in the past, I CAN change what happens for me now and in my future.
This is the point in self-discovery that I so often bring attention to my clients the awareness of the SECOND rabbit….the one that insists on beating YOU up for missing the lesson and awareness of the first rabbit that takes us into its dark hole of despair.
The second rabbit is the one that is there to KEEP you stuck in perpetuating the self-loathing and thus continuing to create even more of these LEARNING opportunities until we awaken to the lesson being given us.
When I first discovered this method of awareness, it made for such celebratory moments in my life as I could then recognize more and more the power I DO have within to change my life.
You see, it is SO TRUE that what you focus on expands…and as I would focus on the MISTAKE, I could never see the LESSON. As I focused on the PAIN and SORROW, I could never see the LOVE and JOY that has carried me through all these horrific moments and in turn, brought into my life the sheer delight I have known.
It IS ALL about shifting your perspective, your beliefs and your focus.
As I am creating my life from my authentic self space within, I am knowing more and more and more that all that has happened in my life truly has been FOR me. To prepare me for my greatest vision and purpose….that very belief I have held from an age so young, I cannot recall NOT knowing that I am here for creating great change in this world.
IT IS WHO I AM.
Yet, we lose ourselves in the madness that already IS this world. THIS is the path of growth for each our souls…to experience being lost so that we may find our way home.
HOME being that connectedness within each of us – the TRUE YOU that we each are – our OWN light, way and truth that cannot come from any belief system outside of us when the purpose of them is to make us all the same.
WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME, nor can we ever be. No two of us are truly alike, even twins. We ALL experience this incredible world and journey through our own eyes, our own touch, our own feelings and our own sensations. We each have our OWN unique experiences to go and grow through.
And because I am healing my dark spaces of FEAR, my life is changing SO much and SO quickly. I am not only embracing the darkness within my journey, but also giving it gratitude for that which it is and has been teaching me.
I have come to know through firsthand experience that we cannot find our light if we have not been immersed in the dark.
Each time I shift into and through a sabotage, that which is a debilitating belief that seeks to keep me in my illusionary “comfort zone” of that which is familiar, I am filled with so much gratitude for the strength, awareness and LOVE it grows within me.
I could not have imagined this would be where my life would go or what it would have looked like up until now…I only know that I can imagine what it CAN look like and I CAN CREATE IT.
It only takes believing….believing most in ME, because I AM LOVE.