My Confession -- First Time I Tell The Most
Updated: Mar 27, 2021
The very post I shared today in a local Facebook group of more than 6,000 women was the first EVER to receive a response that triggered me to SOB crocodile tears of overwhelm as my body shook in complete and utter amazement.
I'm STILL in shock as the reactions and comments continue to roll in.
All the love and support amplified as that which I experience from my own Goddess Tribe.
I had no idea of the profound impact my own story could and would have on SO MANY.
This is the post, word for word.....
I am a former PROSTITUTE.
Yes, you read that right.
I have been raped, abused, berated, assaulted, stalked and manipulated....all of which first happened BEFORE I went into "the business". (Pimped out, drug addicted and arrested were also added during, along with MORE of the same as before.)
My mother told me I was a mistake and the reason she was so unhappy when I was barely 15.
She and I have never really had a connection. She is so toxic and with no desire to change, she is banned from my life.
She had even teased me about being flat chested as I was entering puberty at the same time I was being bullied by girls at school. Read my diary and then used my words against me.
Even at age 35, she told me I was embarrassing her by bopping along to the Christmas music as I sniffed the "smellies" in Victoria's Secret 5 years ago.
That was the LAST time I let her belittle me.....
I had learned to loathe myself at the same time despise her.
What a conundrum, eh?
No wonder I could so easily hate the woman that was ME as I entered adulthood and believe that NO ONE could ever want to be part of my life or love me for ME.
I didn't realize it then, but I grew up believing that WOMEN were NOT very nice or accepting and that I could never REALLY be FRIENDS with them.
No surprise, right?
I certainly never imagined I would be ACCEPTED by other women after the path I have traveled in my 40 years of this human experience journey.
Having been so harshly judged by the most important woman in my life growing up (and SO MANY others), I was indeed bracing myself for the extreme condemnation of others when I began to own and share my story.
I never thought I could be REAL friends with REAL women.
It was only when I learned to discover the woman that I TRULY am and be my own REAL friend that I could and would create deep and connected relationships with other women.
I NEVER imagined I would one day be LEADING a group of women into THEIR space of empowerment.
That MY story would INSPIRE others.
That all my pain, struggle and suffering WAS FOR A REASON.
That the shame and unworthiness I once felt would be soothed with compassion, understanding and, yes, even amazement and fascination with my story.
How could I TRULY help others if I do not KNOW FIRSTHAND what it is to shift from defeat into empowerment?
An amazing Gilbert Girlfriend Goddess said to me just the other night that I am her hero.
That the things I've been through she would never wish on anybody and that it is truly incredible the perspective and attitude about that which I have endured is from a place of EMPOWERMENT rather than defeat.
I have always know from a little girl that I was here to do HUGE things in this world....the words I used when I was younger were that I was "here to save the world."
I just had to learn how to save (and LOVE) myself FIRST so I could LEAD by example and illuminate the path for others to follow.
THIS is how we BE the change.
True love can only begin within as EVERYTHING in this world IS a direct reflection of YOU - - what you look for in yourself and the world is EXACTLY what you find.
I am so honored, grateful and blessed to be on this journey with several of you AMAZING Goddesses I have met and connected with in this incredible group.